cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
