actually, I'm a sock model
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
