okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
