It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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