It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
