didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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