Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How does one acquire holy water?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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