I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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