butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
