Can Purell be used as lube?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
