its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
