She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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