Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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