He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
