so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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