hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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