piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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