i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want a musical about memes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
