Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
4 words: hood of his car
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
