Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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