I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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