Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
