i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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