I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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