i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
