I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
