That's intense
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
