I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
