Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
