yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize