he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
