how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
