did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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