I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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