What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
