So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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