He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
