Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
