He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
