It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
