Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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