dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Shame - the story of my life.
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