AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize