awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
