I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
