Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
