Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
