Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
