To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
