Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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