yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
