Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
