so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
