I have demons in me.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
