she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
3 2 1 whiskey
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize