I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
