puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
