It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
