Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
