i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
