Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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